1. |
People Eater Blues
05:25
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I hate to let you down
Down in the stew
My belly's achin' now
It's what I gotta do
Because I'm hungry
and I got no money
You had me runnin' round
Around the room
But then I knocked you down
Out with a broom
Fixin' for stew
but i need the meat, dude
It's hard to get this down
but so easy to chew
And every friend I've found
I seem to lose
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2. |
Close to Me
04:04
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I think I'm part of the process, all on my own
And truth be told I can't help it, what I've been sold
We were made from something,
Something came from nothing
Son, you're made from dust,
From ground below us
And you will live on,
Yeah, your soul lives on,
Eternally
And so he said I believed it true, so it was
I suspect there's a reason, for the way I was born
Doctor told me something,
Something came from nothing
Son, you're made of dust,
From stars above us
But you don't live on,
You don't have a soul at all
But you can still live happily,
So happily
But I've got elephantiasis
And I can't fight it
Its just my elephantiasis
You can see what my plight is
So what if I'm made of dust
My testicles are big as fuck
I guess that's just my luck
One life is good enough
And I don't wanna live on
I don't want my soul at all
I don't want to live at all
Because no one comes close to me
Or sits close to me
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3. |
Reruns
05:01
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Clocked in at 9:07
I could smell it in the air
I knew that nothing would happen
cause nothing happens anywhere
So I made a pot of coffee
and watched the time go by
I went home turned on the tv
and never closed my eyes
Clocked in at 9:18
I could smell it in the air
Glenn walked over to me
"looks like a grizzly shit in there"
Then he drank my pot of coffee
and he gave me rubber gloves
"we took a vote when you weren't here
so you gotta clean it up"
This happens all the time
I don't really mind
Daydream while I clean
about what I've seen on my screen
Nothing ever happens to me
cause I'm not on tv
Nothing ever happens at all
I guess I'm stuck in this stall
Walked in at 10:08
this time I almost didn't show
"you're over an hour late
this time we have to let you go"
So I thought of saying something
but my mouth was really dry
Then he raised his hand to stop me
said "nice working with you, guy"
I opened up the bathroom door
dropped my pants down to the floor
I hope no one sees me
cause they'd call the police
Something happened that you wouldn't believe
that shit should've been on tv
I guess I'll find another job
it shouldn't take that long
For them to find out
what I've done
then I walked out and I'd won
I feel so relieved
wish it had been on tv
so I could watch the reruns
laying in bed I start thinking of Glenn
I bet cleaning my shit wasn't fun
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4. |
Reruns Alternate Ending
03:42
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Walked in at 8:53
I thought of turning things around
stopped watching so much tv
one less thing to bring me down
Then I went to punch my time card
but it wasn't in its place
"thanks for coming in early
but you've been fired for being late"
That's when I collapsed
I felt like a piece of crap
Nobody helps me
cause we're not on tv
I did something that you wouldn't believe
I reached down under the sink
and I grabbed a boxcutter
and I took off my shirt
And I drove it in, started bleeding
I was screaming
I went back again
My left hand was free
so I pulled out a kidney
and started on the rest of my guts
now I'm in Hell and things are just swell
cause I know that Glenn cleaned me up
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5. |
Kyle & Lyle
02:54
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"It shouldn't take this long to put a seatbelt on"
"well, Kyle, it's taking a while
because I'm doing this by myself and I need help"
"Well there's your problem, Lyle,
you're fucking dumb
so step aside and i will get this done
Wait a minute, Lyle,
why don't you come back?
I'm gonna need you to push in this fat
Get him clicked in
strapped over his chest
so we can
begin the crash test"
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6. |
Fat Test Dummy
03:30
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All the other dummies
thought he looked funny
but he could see something
something was coming
"Everything is gonna change
it's gonna happen any day
you'll all be taken away
fat dummy gonna take yo place"
"What you're saying can't be true
we can't have you talking this way
you know what us dummies can do
fat dummy better watch what you say"
Farley the fat test dummy
was made the same as everyone
"plastic, metal plating
and polyurethane foam"
He didn't want to hurt anybody
he wasn't such a bad guy
"but all the other dummies
thought that I deserved to die"
A horde of dummies had to hold him down
they didn't want him moving around
"ripped off his legs, his head and his arms
and now he'll never make another sound"
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7. |
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Good morning Kyle
Morning Lyle
"Are you okay buddy?
you don't look alright"
"I'm just a little tired
tv kept me up all night"
"The test results came in
they want it done today
all the dummies in there
have got to be replaced"
"I hope they mean these plastic things
for your own sake"
"If that's the case I think you'll make the weight"
"What happened?
I can't find the fat one
There's just his arms here
man, this is real weird"
"Don't worry about it
pick up the pieces
we'll take em with us
down to the furnace"
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8. |
Furnace Jam
01:48
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(screams)
(laughter)
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9. |
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Do you remember Schmory Schmills
the winter really got to him
I guess an awful lot has changed, it's so strange
if you don't well that's okay I'll tell you anyway
Apparently on Halloween Schmory tripped on LSD
now he wore cowboy clothes that year, kinda weird
but he was sure of what was real
and what to feel
That's not a pirate chewing gum
that's just Brian and he is chewing gum
but why can't you see
the cowboy in me?
After a while he got tired of being high
but he couldn't pass out no matter how hard he tried
After three more months at school
he packed up everything in his room
he knew his life would be so lame if he stayed
his roommate said he ran away out of state
I'll drive to Nevada.. I'm sick of the snow
what's it like in Montana? I don't even know
I just want to be
with other cowboys like me
Then after a while he found a farm but couldn't settle down
and his mom found out and she had a cow
Took some time now she's okay
it's getting better everyday
Now Schmory's back through with the fair
but I didn't know him so I don't care
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10. |
Deep Throat
04:42
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I went home to tell my lover
I love her
in the evening so
she's all I'll ever need
I got home up the staircase to find her
in pleasure with Deep Throat
on the tv glow
it's all she'll ever need
She walked back down the staircase
to find me and love me
why Deep Throat in the evening so?
it's all lies that she loves me
So I stood up and I shot her
through the eyeball
no more Deep Throat
in the evening so
Then I shot myself
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11. |
Death Cry
05:03
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I was hanging out one night with a friend
showing off my record collection
combing through a stack of old 45's
when I saw one I don't remember buying
"Death Cry" by Crow (A Sing Crow in Distress)
how about you put this one on next?
we put the needle down and while the record spun
we realized it was something we never should have done
When it was all over we saw the most disturbing thing
we looked a little closer and it said an actual live recording
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12. |
Alaska
05:24
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i know i haven’t seen you in a while
but i’ve got something to say
if i stay here any longer
i think i’ll blow out my brains
when the sky lost all its color
i thought I’d kill myself
but then i really got to thinking
it must be better someplace else
cause life in this town
just isn’t working out
working this dead end job
can’t be what it’s all about
so i just stopped by to tell you
i won’t be seeing you again
figured alaska’s good as any
place i’ve never been
now you can tell em
if anyone should ask ya
i’ve had enough, just quit my job
and i’m moving to alaska
moving to alaska
to live right off the grid
moving to alaska
like chris mcandleass did
moving to alaska
just worked up the guts
moving to alaska
hope i don’t die in a bus
thanks so much for calling
things up here are great
i’m sure that nothings changed
in the lower forty eight
it’s only been two months
but i’ve never felt more alive
the sun hasn’t gone down once
since the day that i arrived
the first week i was here
walked a trail at hemlock knob
but now theres not much time for nature
cause i found myself a brand new job
when i told you i was moving
i said i’d live out in the woods
my plane landed here in the city
and i just called it good
so now you can tell em
if anyone should ask ya
doing fine, found a job
at the mcdonalds in the walmart in the mountains of alaska
everything is fine
now i don’t want to die
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